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Opens up on Conor, Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley in the gaming room.
Wendell Ah! Derek's Discount Pizza. (Opens pizza box) The best pizza three bucks can buy.
Ashley How can we afford to make pizza for three bucks?
Franklin Because Derek's a smart businessman who knows how to maximize profits.
Conor Or because he puts ketchup on a newspaper and covers it in cheese.
Conor, Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley grab their pizza slices. One more remains.
Ashley Uh-oh. Looks like Derek cut it into five slices. Again.
Wendell Well, I'm twice as awesome as you guys, so I'll just take the extra slice. (He is about to grab the remaining pizza slice.)
Ashley You want it? Let's arm wrestle for it.
Wendell What? No way! That's not fair! I mean, uh...for you.
Conor Hey, guys. We're a team now. Whatever we get, we should share.
Wendell Hey. What's this? (Takes off black sheet to reveal a chair)
Franklin gasps. Franklin and Ashley walk up to the chair.
Conor The new X3000 gaming chair our team got! That I'm not gonna share.
Franklin What?!
Ashley Thief?!
Wendell Blasphemer!
Franklin I've only read about the X3000! It's the most powerful interactive gaming chair ever made! Oh, I wanna get my buns in this thing.
Wendell Your buns couldn't handle this thing.
Franklin You know my buns can handle, Wendell!
Conor All right, fine. Even though they clearly sent the chair to us because of me, we'll compromise. You guys can have the extra slice, I'm keepin' the chair.
Ashley No way. We're sharing this chair equally between the four of us. (Gasps) I'll go get my mom's chainsaw! (About to walk away)
Conor Okay. Hold on. You guys are right. This chair was sent to our team, and that's all of us. So, here's what we do. We'll hold a contest and game for it. Winner gets the chair. (Walks over to his collection of games) I'll pick one at... random. How about, (Grabs game case) Arctic Warfare?
Ashley How about... (Grabs game case) Volleyball Hero?
Wendell Uh, how about... (Grabs game case) Monster Truck Bloodbath?
Franklin How about... (Walks over to game cases) yeah, I'm not good at any of these games.
Conor That's true. Franklin's not good at any game, so, how 'bout we let him decide which artic-based warefare game we're gonna play. (Ashley and Wendell get shocked at this. To Ashley and Wendell:) Sorry. (To Franklin:) Franklin, it's your choice. You choose the game and that's what we'll play. Right, guys?
Wendell mutters.
Ashley Whatever.
Franklin In that case, we'll play the game... (Turns around) of no gaming!
Conor I'm sorry.
Ashley What?
Wendell Blasphemer!
Franklin The chair shall go to whomever lasts the longest without gaming.
Ashley Ohhhhhhh! So, we can only game on our phones.
Franklin NO! You can game on nothing. Now, hand over all of your gaming gear. (Taps desk twice)
Conor You know what? I'm in. (Hands in gaming gear)
Wendell Well, if he's in, I'm twice as in! (Hands in gaming gear)
Franklin, Conor, and Wendell stare at Ashley.
Franklin Ashley?
Ashley (Sighs, walks to desk; hands in some of her gaming gear)
Franklin Ashley?
Ashley hands in her tablet and phone.
Franklin Ashley.
Ashley hands in her laptop.
Ashley You are a sick, twisted little man!
Opening theme plays.
Cut to Conor, Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley waiting for time to pass without gaming.
Conor I can't take it. How many days has it been since we stopped gaming?
Franklin (Checks watch) Uhhhhhhhhh...four minutes, sir.
Conor Oh, man, this is terrible.
Wendell Uh, Ashley? You okay? You don't look too good.
Ashley I'm hearing voices!
Wendell That was me.
Ashley Oh! There they go again!
Conor This is crazy. You know what? We can still game! We just...we just gotta go old school!
Ashley Super Kart Man?!
Wendell Pony Kong?
Conor No! (Grabs board game titled "Whoopsie!") We're gonna play this.
Wendell What is it?
Conor It's a board game! It's called "Whoopsie!". I'll be the car. (Lays out board)
Wendell I'll be the boot.
Ashley I'll be the frying pan.
Franklin I'll be the laundy basket!
Conor Okay. Everybody put your piece on the start line. Franklin, your roll. (Gives Franklin the die)
Franklin Okay. (Rolls) Six. (Stares at board) Uh, it's not moving.
Ashley Maybe the batteries are dead.
Conor There are no batteries! You move the piece by hand!
Wendell (Scoffs) What are we? Animals?!
Franklin (Moves piece) Two, three, four, five, six.
Ashley (Rolls die) Four.
Conor That's a whoopsie. You have to say "whoopsie!" and move your piece back two.
Ashley Okay! I'm not doing that.
Conor You have to. Or, you get sent to the "uh-oh" pit.
Ashley Fine. Whoopsie! (Moves piece back by two)
Wendell (Laughs) "Whoopsie." That is so dumb. (Rolls die) Three. (Moves piece) One, two, three.
Franklin Ooooooh! You got a yowza card!
Wendell (Grabs card, reading:) "Say "whoopsie" three times."
Conor, Franklin, and Ashley laugh.
Wendell Whoopsie. Whoopsie. (Tears apart game board) Whoopsie.
"Rage Quit!" achievement appears onscreen.
Cut to school. Wendell is seen carrying a wagon.
Ashley What's all that, Wendell?
Wendell I did all of my homework for the next year! It turns out I have a lot of free time when I'm not gaming.
Ashley You know, I really thought one of you would've caved by now. And I'd be one step closer to getting that chair. (Hears sound) Wait. What's that sound?
Wendell That's the sound of thumbs mashing buttons!
Franklin And, I know those nimble thumbs.
Wendell opens the door, Conor is shown.
Conor Come on! Come on! You can do this! Level up! Level up! Yeah-heh-heh-heh! (to Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley) It's not what it looks like.
Franklin Really? 'Cause it looks like you're pretending to play a video game with a calculator and a hamster!
Conor That's not a hamster. He's a warlord from Narloo running on a plasma wheel to power his ship!
'"'Hamster Power!" achievement appears onscreen.
Ashley Uh, your warlord just ate a piece of his own poop.
Conor You say poop, I say power pellet. (Exits room, shuts door)
Wendell (To Conor:) You should be ashamed of yourself!
Conor Hey, you're the one who dressed like it's picture day at St. Dweebs.
Franklin Well, Conor didn't technically break the rules. Everyone's still in.
Ashley For now. You guys are never going to make it. You know why? Girls have stronger willpower.
Scene cuts to a room where all the students are gaming.
Conor (Whimpers) What's all this?
Nordahl Video game company Funtendo has taken over our school today, which means, no classes, all gaming!
Ashley I'm out! (Starts gaming)
Another screen is shown, showing Conor, Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley. Ashley is marked as "ELIMINATED".
Scene cuts back to the school.
Wendell Man. I've been sending in applications to have Funtendo take over our school for the past five years! And today is the day I win?! I hate stuff!
Franklin Ashley, I can't believe you're playing the original version of Moon Blaster!
Ashley You know what makes it even better? I'm playing at school!
Franklin/Wendell Awwwwwwwww!
Wendell Can I smell your controller hand when you're done?
Franklin I call sweaty seconds!
Cut to Conor and Nordahl.
Conor No. Go forward! And hit the gas. You're only going twenty miles an hour!
Nordahl Well, I am in a construction zone, and I wanna be safe.
Conor It's a racing game. Now, hit the nitro!
Nordahl Well, I thought you liked video games, Conor! You should play!
Conor Doh, you stop peer pressuring me! As principal, you have to provide an alternative activity for those of us who choose not to game! Now, I want something to do. Anything.
Nordahl (Points) Well, I see lunch lady Doreen is going buns over tea kettle for Donkey Bonanza.
Doreen is seen playing Donkey Bonanza.
Nordahl Maybe you could help out in the kitchen! (Playing game) Whoa! Those fellas just whipped right by me like a couple o' speedy demons.
Conor That's why it's called, "Speedy Demons"!
Nordahl (Continues playing game) Oh, good. A police officer. He will pull them over. Me? Why me? I didn't do anything. I can't get pulled over! I've got unpaid parking tickets! I'm not goin' to the big house! (Pulls wheel) Not today, fuzz!
Cut to Conor and a chef.
Conor Wow. We have a B from the health board? That's actually pretty good.
Kim That's not a B. Hey, roaches! Beat it!
The roaches leave the paper to reveal an F.
Kim Okay, we're makin' a fruit salad, so pay attention. It gets pretty complicated.
Conor You cut up fruit and put it in a bowl.
Kim Oh! Look who went to fancy chef college! Now, I'll get the fruit and you slice, but don't cut the avocados. The pits will dull our knives.
Conor picks up a knife.
Kim Oh! This fruit box is really heavy!
Conor Aha! Just...just toss 'em over.
Kim tosses over an apple. Conor slices it successfully. "Fruit Samurai!" achievement appears onscreen.
Conor Hey. Keep 'em comin'! (Camera zooms up to his face) Game on.
A countdown appears on the screen counting down from three. Conor slices all the fruit, the words "LEVEL COMPLETE!" appear on the screen. Achievement "Perfectly Plated!" is unlocked.
Kim Ooohhhhhhhhhhh! So beautiful! You think you're better than me, Mr. Fancy Chef College?
Conor No! Well, at least I wouldn't say it out loud.
Kim You're trying to take my job! (Starts chasing Conor) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cut to the Billy the Squid restaurant.
Wendell Now, many say the Mayflower compact was the blueprint for a democratic society in the new world. Wow! I think I just used something in my head that I've never used before.
Franklin It's called your brain.
Wendell It's giving me.....thinky bubbles.
Franklin Those are thoughts.
Wendell What have I become? (Gets out of seat)
Girl (Scoffs) Stupid dragon ate me again. I thought I had a shield!
Wendell Uh, activation is achieved by triple tapping the red button.
Girl You know how to play this game?
Wendell Yeah, I presently hold the high score.
Girl You're Ginger Buns?
Wendell Yeah, but I'm taking a little gaming sabbatical. It means a break. It's okay. I used to be dumb too.
Girl It's too bad you don't play. 'Cause if you'd help me slay one little dragon, I'd be so grateful. I'd give you a big, (Camera zooms in on her lips) long, (Camera zooms in on her lips), kiss.
Wendell I am so glad you can't see my thinky bubbles right now.
Girl Are you gonna slay my dragon, Ginger Buns?
(Runs up to the table) I'm out! (Runs up to the girl)
Scene shifts to an image of Conor, Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley. Wendell is now eliminated.
Cut to Conor's video titled "How To Survive Without Gaming."
Conor So, gamers. You wanna know how to survive without gaming? Hahaha! Well, ask somebody else because I don't know! It's impossible. It's like trying not to breathe, or pee in a hot shower. It was down to me and Franklin to win that chair.
Scene shifts to an image of Conor and Franklin.
Conor I just had to keep my head down and get through the rest of the school day without losing it.
Cut to school.
Conor Okay. I can do this. (Low pitched echo:) I can do this. I can do this.
Low-pitched laughter plays.
Nordahl (Low pitched:) Step right up, Conor. (High pitched:) Play a game.
Laughing is heard, Wendell and Ashley walk up to Conor.
Ashley (Low pitched) Play with us, Conor.
Wendell. (High pitched) You're a gamer. You're a gamer. You're a gamer.
Conor NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Runs away)
Wendell Sheesh! What's wrong with him?
Ashley No idea. Wanna go see what they're servin' for lunch?
Wendell Uh, sure, let's go.
Scene cuts to Conor.
Conor That was close.
Student Dude, I just got to level thirty-five in Arctic Warfare.
Conor grabs the kid.
Conor You're on level thirty-five in Arctic Warefare?! I'm only on thirty-four! How are you on thirty-five?!
Student There's a glitch. You can camp out in the glacier and rack up mad XP! But I heard the company's gonna patch it up any minute.
Conor leaves.
Cut to the Billy the Squid restaurant.
Franklin I don't think I can last much longer. I saw a kid playing Turtle Taxi, and I started to sweat. I should just throw in the towel, because there is no way Conor's going out.
Conor I'm out!
Cut to the image of Conor, Franklin, Wendell, and Ashley. Conor gets eliminated.
Wendell It can't be.
Ashley That means, Franklin's the only one left. Guys, I think he might win this thing.
Franklin I'm the winner! I get the chair!
"Underdog!" achievement appears onscreen.
Wendell There's losing, and then there's losing to... (Points to Franklin) him. How could you do this to us?!
Conor I couldn't help it! I heard about a glitch in Arctic Warfare, but they must've patched it before I got in there! I was just climbing up and down the glacier like an idiot.
Franklin Well, congratulations to all in a fair competition. Now if you'll excuse me, my buns and I have a date with the X3000 gaming chair. Shall we, ladies?
Conor Well, I guess the little squirt got lucky.
The girl walks in.
Wendell Well, speaking of luck, looks like my lady is coming back for seconds. Hope you guys aren't averse to public displays of affection. It's about to get PG-13 up in here.
Ashley I bet the "PG" stands for "pretty gross."
Wendell moves his lips into a kissing position, but the girl walks by.
Girl Have you guys seen Franklin?
Wendell The name's Wendell, baby.
Girl He owes me five bucks for pretending to like... (Points to Wendell) this one.
Wendell "This one?" I'm your Ginger Buns.
Girl (Scoffs) I should've asked for twenty.
Conor Wait a minute. Franklin put her up to that? But, why would he... (Walks up to a table where the two kids are sitting) Hey, did you guys really find a glitch in Arctic Warfare?
Student No. We just said we did, 'cause some mousey kid gave us gift cards to this tasy seafood sampler. Want a blow hole?
Conor No.
Ashley I'll take it. (Flings at the kid) That's for tricking my friend Conor!
Conor Guys, Franklin played us like a fiddle.
Ashley (Scoffs) Maybe he played you two scrubs, but not me. I only lost 'cause Funtendo showed up, and I have no willpower. Franklin didn't have anything to do with that.
Principal Nordahl walks into the restaurant.
Nordahl Oh. There you are, Wendell. Funtendo wanted you to have this special medallion for your act of bravery.
Wendell Oh, well. Thank you very much. (Grabs his medallion)
Conor Uh, excuse me. What "act of bravery" did you do?
Wendell (Pauses) What act of bravery did I do?
Nordahl Stop being modest. The only reason Funtendo came was because Franklin told them about you single-handedly pushing a beached baby whale back into the ocean.
Wendell Well, it's all about leverage. See, if you get low and push with your legs...
Conor Wendell. You didn't do that.
Wendell It sounds like something I'd do. (Puts on medallion) You're welcome, Principal Nordahl.
Principal Nordahl leaves.
Conor I can't believe Franklin set us all up.
Ashley He's a cheatin' rat!
Conor No, he's not a cheatin' rat. He's a smart rat. Franklin may not be great at video games, but he played this game perfectly.
Wendell Oh, really? Well, how do you know I didn't play him?
Ashley 'Cause, he's the one in the chair.
Wendell Yeah, but I kissed a girl, and he paid for it.
Conor Guys, you gotta admit. Our sweet, innocent little Franklin might just be...a mad genius.
Cut to the gaming room.
Franklin (In the chair) Hahahahahaha! Ah, those poor suckers never saw it comin'! (Drinks milk) This is the greatest day of my life.
The chair starts going unstable.
Franklin Mommy! Mommy!
The chair throws Franklin into the wall. Franklin makes a hole.
Franklin Ugh!
Cut to Conor, Wendell, and Ashley playing "Whoopsie!".
Wendell Okay! My turn! (Lands on a double whoopsie, everyone else gets excited)
Conor You landed on a double whoopsie. You know what that means.
Wendell Yeah, I do. Whoopsie! Whoopsie!
Franklin I'm so glad Funtendo made a video game version of "Whoopsie!".
Conor Yeah. Now, this game is actually fun.
Ashley My turn. (Lands on a space) Yes! A group yowza.
Conor/Franklin/Wendell/Ashley Yowza!
Singer Gamer's Guide!
Episode ends and credits play.

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